When my last date told me that he was working in home automated service, I had no idea what that was. I had to ask him once more what was he doing for living and to explain it to me as if I was a kid. He started to laugh. We both giggled as kids.That was a good sign. I was happy to see that he was not snobbish or arrogant. Some people take themselves way too seriously and they would feel offended if one would ask them to explain something that for them was a simple thing.
This man seemed to be a bit different than all of the men I have dated in the past two years. Not that I would have gone out with a lot of men. To be honest, there were only three. For someone like me that has spent more than fifteen years committed to one single person, having three dates within twenty two years, that’s a lot.
Yes, I know I am old fashioned. Truth is that I am also old. I am not a twenty years old girl anymore. I don’t feel like one either! I am comfortable with my age. Maybe a bit more now than I was before. Not everyone is ready to embrace aging. Not when it means losing some of your strength and becoming more needy.
Losing my independence has been always my greatest fear. Thank God that I am still capable of taking care of myself and I don’t need to rely on someone else’s care. That would have killed me. Luckily, my illness did not advance too much within the past ten years and I was able to keep most of the symptoms under control.
I assume that my diet and the fact that I exercise regularly, plus my yoga classes helped me keep in shape. I also try to keep myself busy, thinking that it would prevent my brain from becoming a vegetable. I have friends who got Alzheimer's in their fifties and it ain’t funny!
Whenever I go visit them, I see what a burden they have become for their children. I don’t want to end up like them. Actually, I don’t want to be neither at home, neither in an institution, in case that would happen to me. When I made my will, I told my lawyer that I would rather die than live this way.